How to Stop Overthinking at Night

How to Stop Overthinking at Night: A Calmer Evening

By Timothy Spinks

This Saturday, 10 October, is World Mental Health Day, and this year's theme is about lived experience being heard. It made me think about the hour when most of us finally hear ourselves, which tends to be the one hour we would rather be asleep.

So if you are wondering how to stop overthinking at night, my short answer is to start earlier. Give your thoughts a set time in the evening, write tomorrow's list down on paper, and then do something calm and screen-free before bed. The aim is for the day to have somewhere to go before your head reaches the pillow.

The rest of this post is the longer answer, and it is more about your evening than your bed.

Why do I overthink at night?

I don't think there is anything strange about it. For a lot of us the day is full from the moment we wake, and there is always something to answer, cook, tidy or watch. Bed is often the first truly quiet place we reach. So that is where the thoughts turn up, because it is the first time anyone has been free to listen to them.

It is also very common. Mental Health UK points to a survey of more than 2,000 people in Britain, which found that 79% struggle to switch off at bedtime and that 60% wake in the night with thoughts of work and other worries. If your head gets busy when the lights go out, you are far from alone.

Seen this way, overthinking at night is mostly a daytime problem that arrives late. Work is a big part of it for many people, and I have written about how to switch off from work at night if that is where your thoughts tend to go. The phone plays its part too, because scrolling fills every gap right up to the moment we try to sleep. There is a separate guide on how to stop doomscrolling in bed for that.

How to stop overthinking at night

If the thoughts come because bedtime is their first chance, then the kind thing to do is to give them an earlier one. Not a long one. A short, set part of the evening where the day gets looked at, written down and put away.

This is what I mean by nightcare: the practice of getting your mind and body ready for sleep on purpose, instead of hoping sleep will sort itself out once you lie down. The steps below are simple, and most of them come straight from NHS and mental health charity advice. I have just put them in the order that makes sense to me.

A vintage lamp glowing in a dimly lit room

Photo by Nastia Petruk on Unsplash

1. Mark the end of the day

Pick a moment in the evening and decide that the day stops there. Turn the main lights down, put the phone in another room and sit somewhere comfortable. It helps to have a small signal that you repeat each night, so the evening has a clear start. Opening a can of Sleep Toniq is meant to be that kind of signal, but a pot of tea or a change of clothes can do the same job.

2. Write tomorrow's list down

The NHS suggests that if you often worry in bed, you make a list of the things you need to do the next day before you go to sleep. Mental Health UK gives much the same advice: plan tomorrow before bedtime so you are not doing it lying awake. A pen and paper are better than a notes app here, because the phone is already in the other room.

3. Give your worries a page of their own

Some thoughts are not jobs. They are just worries, and they do not fit on a to-do list. The NHS says that writing things down can help clear your mind before bed, and the Mental Health Foundation says that writing down your worries can help put your mind at rest. You do not need to solve anything. I think of it as letting each thought have its say, so it has less reason to wait up for you.

4. Do something calm that does not need a screen

Once the page is closed, the evening can be for something gentle. The NHS advises keeping away from screens for an hour before bed and lists reading, breathing exercises and calming music as good ways to relax. Mental Health UK adds a warm bath or some gentle yoga to relax the mind and body before bed. If you would like somewhere to start, we have a guide to breathwork techniques that promote sleep.

5. Keep it roughly the same each night

None of this needs to be perfect, but it does help if it is regular. The NHS notes that going to bed and getting up at similar times helps your body know when it is time to sleep, and the Mental Health Foundation describes a relaxing bedtime routine as a signal to your brain. A small routine that you keep is worth more than a grand one you drop by Thursday.

What should I do if I'm lying awake overthinking?

Some nights the thoughts will come anyway. When that happens, the NHS advice is not to force sleep. If you are still awake after around 20 minutes, get up, sit somewhere comfortable and do something relaxing, like reading a book or listening to quiet music, and go back to bed when you feel sleepy.

I like this advice because it is forgiving. It treats a restless night as something to sit out calmly, not a test you are failing. And if worry or poor sleep carries on for a while and the simple things are not helping, it is worth speaking to your GP.

Where does a drink fit into all this?

Only at the start, really. I made Sleep Toniq to be the thing you open when the evening begins: a canned drink of chamomile, honey, apple cider vinegar and orange that promotes rest and relaxation, and gives you something more interesting to sip than another herbal tea or a glass of wine. It will not write your list for you. But a small, pleasant marker at the same time each night makes the rest of the routine easier to keep.

If you would like to try it as part of your own evening, you can find Sleep Toniq here. And if you do nothing else tonight, leave a pen and some paper by the sofa. Let the day be heard before bed, not in it.