Nighttime Anxiety: Why It Feels Worse and What Helps

Nighttime Anxiety: Why It Feels Worse at Night and What Helps

By Timothy Spinks

A woman looking out of a window into the dark at night

Photo by Andriyko Podilnyk on Unsplash

Most of us know the feeling. The day goes by without much fuss, and then the lights go off and a small worry turns into a large one. Nighttime anxiety often feels worse because the day's noise has gone, you are tired and your mind has nothing else to hold.

Why does nighttime anxiety feel worse in the dark?

There is no single reason, but a few come up again and again. One clinical psychologist explained that during the day we are busy with work, friends and family, and that when we lie in bed with nothing to distract us, worry can become more pronounced. In other words, the worry was often there all along. Bedtime is just the first time it gets our full attention.

Tiredness plays a part too, and the same psychologist lists sleep deprivation among the triggers. Then comes the part that catches many of us out. After a few poor nights we start to expect another one, and that expectation can keep us awake. The called this a vicious cycle, and I think that is a fair way to put it.

They also name caffeine, electronic devices and stress as common triggers. Those are the parts we can change, so that is where I would start.

What helps with nighttime anxiety in the evening?

Because the problem is partly an empty, quiet head, it makes sense to give your mind a little work to do before bed, then let it finish. The NHS suggests that if you often worry in bed, you can write a to-do list for the next day before you go to sleep, or write your worries down, or talk them through with someone you trust.

There is some research behind the list idea as well. In one study, young adults who spent five minutes writing a to-do list before bed fell asleep faster than those who wrote about things they had already done. The group was small and healthy, so I would not read too much into it. Still, it is a gentle thing to try, and it costs nothing.

Breathing is another way in. The NHS describes a simple exercise: breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, letting the breath go down into your belly, and counting from one to five if you like. If you do not reach five at first, that is fine. We have a longer piece on breathwork techniques that promote sleep if you want to try other patterns.

Street lights glowing along a quiet road at dusk

Photo by Kevin Dowling on Unsplash

Six things to try this evening

Write it down early. Give yourself five minutes after dinner, not in bed. Jot down what is on your mind and what needs doing tomorrow, then close the notebook.
Keep caffeine for the morning. If you are unsure where your own line sits, our piece on how many hours you need before sleep might help.
Put the phone away for the last hour. The NHS advises avoiding phones, tablets and computers for an hour before bed. Our guide to stopping doomscrolling in bed goes into this.
Take a short walk at dusk. NHS advice on anxiety lists regular exercise such as walking as something that can help you relax. Even ten minutes round the block lets the day end properly.
Build a small wind-down. Dim the lights, read something you enjoy or play quiet music. If you need ideas, here is how to wind down before bed in 20 minutes.
Get up if you are still awake. The NHS suggests that if you are still awake after about 20 minutes, you get up, sit somewhere comfortable and do something relaxing until you feel sleepy.

What if my mind will not stop going round?

Sometimes the worry has a shape, like a conversation at work or a bill. Other times it is just noise. Both are common, and neither means you are doing it wrong. If it is mostly about racing thoughts, I wrote about that in more detail in how to stop overthinking at night, and it pairs well with what is above.

Where does a chilled evening drink fit in?

I made Sleep Toniq because I wanted something to mark the end of the day that was not alcohol or another hot tea. It is a canned botanical that promotes rest and relaxation. Whilst it won't melt away all your worries, it does give you a small, intentional moment to slow down, which is half the work of an easier night.

If you are curious, you can take a look at Sleep Toniq here.